On my mind

I know that it has been such a long time since I have updated you guys...and I promise that I will get to Kruger Park eventually....but since I am up tonight, this has been on my mind lately and I thought I would give an insight into me with where I am at now... It has been 8 months since I moved from Seattle and the last few months I have trying to push into the fact that "there is more God...There is so much more here" yet my heart is beating for familiarity, simplicity, and the sense of NOT having to fight. Many of you knew my struggles when I first moved to Cape Town and how it felt like I had to fight tooth and nail to get a place, a bed, furniture, and on and on it seemed. Today as I was reflecting while sitting in homegroup....it still feels that way..fighting. Fighting to find my place here in Cape Town both personally and professionally. I have contacted numerous orphanges and no one has emailed me back...my heart for kids! There will be a story coming soon about a township I got to visit...stay tuned to hear how I entertained 20 kids with only rocks, yes I am pretty amazing! Buster my car was busted into about a month ago, friends leaving who have made the season wa more memorable, and grappling with who I thought I was, who I am, who my family wants me to be, who God sees me, and knowing that there is MORE. I know this is such a loaded question but it really has been my life lately. There is so many good things happening here in Cape Town and I really do mean to share them with you...just not today I guess :) I have been going to a church that reminds me so much of SB days....and in some way it feels like I am pedaling backwards...which I know I am so not. So much has happened from SB to Seattle to Africa (I know you Capetonians, I know....I am in SOUTH AFRICA....but we can have a discussion about that later!)God seems to be getting my feet wet into things that I haven't done or seen in quite a long time...and it feels like he is just asking me "do you remember...do you remember who you are?" Seattle was such a time of healing for me and that season I had stepped away from things that had been so familiar to me...and now it is coming full circle and I am not the same person. I rejoice in seeing this...and yet timid for some odd reason. Today I feel like He is saying "can you fight a little longer for what is in store for you...can you push into Me a little harder." So although I am exhausted, today, I feel a little nudge, a little push, and some faith and grace that has been breath back into me. Thank you Jesus :)