Foreigner

Got to blog about this as I feel like a complete idiot. If you are reading this blog and you were involved in seeing my idiocy today, know that I will probably laugh it off tomorrow, but tonight, tonight I feel like a foreigner and an idiot who should have gone back to bed. As I mentioned in the previous post, this has been a long week and with that not much sleep. Today, I didn’t go to bed until 5am and was up by 9am to get ready for the day. Note to self, know how long your day will be so you can mentally prepare and leave before the day goes downhill. I went to a women’s conference with a friend today in which they were all black and then there was 1 yellow person...ME. I loved the conference and the worship (although there were moments were I felt they spoke English just for my sake and made me feel foreign rather than letting me embrace Africa,) but by 4pm I was already exhausted. I ended up going out with some friends for the evening and honestly didn’t know how long the night would be and hadn’t had any coffee all day, BIG OOPS! Ever had a time where everything out of your mouth was something that you would think afterwards in your mind…so why did I say that…why did I do that? That was me tonight, I know I am famous for my mayisms, but boy today was ridiculous. So one of my downfalls of being so independent and growing up where I did, I am confident and self-aware of my surroundings and know that if I ever got in a difficult situation of being mugged or something, I could defend myself…with this, I have never had a problem going most places by myself including all the lovely parties on DP…I have the Lords protection, discernment to know when places are dodgy, and the ability to kick someone’s butt if forced to. One thing that is different here in Cape Town is that the Christian men are raised to be gentlemen (which honestly is not normal in the US) where they walk women to their cars, wait until they leave to ensure they are okay, open doors, etc. Since being here, I think it is amazing but to be honest I look at most of these men who are skinny, timid, spacey, and I laugh inside as they walk me to my car because if something were to occur I probably would be the one laying the smack down, haha. I know that numbers are definitely safer don’t get me wrong but that is something I do need the Lord to work with me on… and I do look forward to when I meet my husband and have that sense of security that he can protect me, that will be sweet! SOooo back to tonight. Tonight, I got a mini statement on not walking the streets alone (although it was just me not realizing the gang had stopped at a store…it happens) and for some reason that bugged me…they just don’t know so, these men are just trying to be protective and I see that, but at that moment it was a “give me a break” moment. It seemed dumb comments kept coming out of my mouth today including calling kids “it”! Since when do I ever call kids that….I love kids!!! OY VEY! The night ended with some bands and the last band reminded me of ska music from when Christian bands like OC Supertones, Five Iron Frenzy, and The W’s would play in Reno, good memories for sure! I was actually enjoying it when the whole crew decided to leave…I was bummed and right now I am more bummed at the fact that today made me feel more like a freakin idiot and foreigner than I have felt in a while…probably should have just ended the night earlier and gotten more sleep. Tomorrow, tomorrow I hope to be either a Capetonian or a tourist, but please not a foreigner Lord.