My beautiful friend of 12/14 years it all adds up to 42 anyways!

May, May, May…


I don’t even know where to begin. I could write about when we met (biology, McQueen) or when we became friends (listening to “Rockabye” on the way to and from that youth conference in Sparks, which at that point, seemed SO far away) or even the times we visited each other in Santa Barbara and Folsom and Fayetteville and Seattle. I could detail the future plans we have to visit each other in South Africa and Japan or the plans we are making for our “sisterchicks” vacation in 12 years. I could reminisce about the times we have commiserated over school and family and friends. I could even wax poetic about all the big decisions we had to make over the years, many of them coincidentally occurring at the same time. Our “big” moves to Fayetteville and Seattle and then our even bigger moves to Misawa and Capetown. Our frequent talks on the phone about visas and customs forms and passports, where one of us calmed the other down, only to switch places the next day. Those days I thought I would collapse from the stress, only to feel better knowing that you were facing the same situation and that I wasn’t alone. Yes, I could talk about a lot of the memories I have, some ancient past and others more recent.

Instead of writing about all of those things, though, I decided instead to write about how I feel about all of those things. Despite moving all over the world, changing jobs, graduating, making and losing new friends, our friendship has been one of the few constants in my ever-changing world. I always know that even if we haven’t talked in a while, you are my best friend and sounding board and venting buddy and prayer warrior and fellow world-traveler. I know you’re only a skype call (or facebook chat) away and that I’ll soon have a two hour conversation with you that will inadvertently make us both laugh, cry, and then laugh again at our crying.

I feel so lucky to have been a significant part of your first 30 years and am excited to continue in that role during the next 30.

Happy birthday, friend.


This birthday love note came from one of my closet and oldest best friends. I would say I have 3 best friends, actually 4 if you include the one I am gaining in South Africa, but yes I have a few close friends and when I meet them, I refuse to let them go and they for some reason stick with me for life. Kari Mischke Frazier and I met in high school and it is incredible to say that we have been friends for that long!! She got me like no one else had; was my protector and safety when home life sucked; she is my long term memory as I never remember ANYTHING; and she is the one who can complete my sentences or know what I am thinking without having to say a word. We have so many memories as thick as a dictionary and her husband could probably write a book on all our corky sayings and things that make his eyes roll…so thank you Ben for letting her keep me, I know we can be odd at times! 

So for laughter sake which only Bob, I mean Heennnry, I mean Kari will understand, thank you for the back rubs when I was sick in SF, that amazing lady in south Carolina or was it Georgia, spinning the wheel, finding 3 cheesesticks, protecting the house from a fire by blowing out the Buddha sticks, what’s that I see yonder…could it be a roundabout, RIGHT, llamas, the amazing slot machine in your house, meow meow cat cat, I wasn’t tipsy FYI, incredible photo album, Sacramento, pull the level, I got no money, you and trivia grrrr, Fort Pedro, Iphone views of Japan (hahaha,) and many many many hours of phone conversations including that one time where I didn’t talk about that one thing :)

Kari, your words at the end couldn’t be written any better. I know I can call you at a moment notice and you are always by my side, through thick and thin, you have been there and I know you will always be. I love that no matter the distance or length we may not get to chat, we always, always, are able to pick up where we left off. We may not understand why life gives us lemons, at times the people we are blessed to call family, and whatever else may come our way; we know that Jesus is our firm foundation that cannot be shaken and our friendship is like that. Kari you exemplify and live out one of the greatest commandments LOVE. “A true friend loves at all times” and “I will never leave you.” You love unconditionally and no matter how lost I am at times you are able to bring me back to the cross and what truly matters in the end. I am truly so blessed to call you my friend and thank God for giving me such an incredible person who stands in faith when I have none, hope when I have lost it, encouragement when I need it, and laughter, tears, and more laughter to feed my soul. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

P.S. I am sorry my mom can’t keep her promises! I don’t think you will ever get the eggrolls and a dinner from her.

Birthday Card!

A couple days ago I got an amazing birthday card from two incredible women Bryna and Erin. I was so touched that they remembered and they really had to remember in order for the card to arrive before my birthday! I would have to say that our paths started crossing in my second year in Seattle. Erin and I led a table together at a women’s bible study and I think that is where I got to know Bryna, and through that and time, Erin and Bryna are now housemates…in which I am just a tad bit jealous! You girls are absolutely incredible and although our season together in Seattle was short, it was incredibly sweet. Erin you are a gem! Your spirit, heart, kindness, and love for the lost are a gift from heaven and a reflection of our loving Father. I was truly honored to have gotten to partner with you in LBS and help lead what I would have to say was one of the best tables and group of women ever! I do pray that God will continue to surprise you daily! Continue loving on the women in Seattle as you are so very good at it and letting God use your hands and feet to touch, change, and allow these women to have an encounter with our heavenly Father in which so many are desperately seeking for that “Love” which is our Abba Father.

 Kasea with a  "K" is in the background, she is pretty darn awesome too!

Bryna, I do treasure our time together and table conversations about God, life, men, Cape Town, and everything else in between. Bryna lived in Cape Town for 2 years serving and loving the beautiful people of Cape Town in which I am also now falling in love with. She is one of those ladies where you could just sit at the table with a bottle of wine and not realize how time has flown as you just talk…like time stands still and there is not another care in the world as you get to just fellowship with her and in that you are engulfed in and with Jesus. That is a special gift where you truly feel that at that specific moment in time, nothing else matters but you. She has an incredible gift with little munchkins and patience that I will never ever have. You are absolutely beautiful my friend!

I couldn't find a good picture of the both of us :( so I stole this picture...one of my most favorite ones of you!

Thank you friends for remembering and loving on me with this amazing card even if we are 10,000 miles away, the pure fact that you thought of me means so much! I love and miss you guys along with all the other lovely ladies we got to share life with together, and they are moments I will forever treasure. Love you guys dearly and I look forward to hearing all the amazing things God continues to do in and through you guys!!

And for all you men out there in Seattle, what are you waiting for???!! You say you want a godly woman, a woman who loves the Lord and serves Him whole heartedly. A woman that loves adventure and also the simple things in life including just chatting next to a fire with a glass of red wine. Hello, open your eyes… Both of these women are a complete steal!!

Presents for my 30th birthday

About a month ago, I posted a note on Facebook and this blog of how my birthday was coming up and what I truly wanted from friends was a note describing their favorite memory or a story about our friendship or seasons together. What made me think of this idea was one of my best friends Kari always reminds me how bad my memory is…so I am wondering how many things I might not remember but you guys do  Over 30 years, there has been a lot of people who have been in my life and without knowing it, each one of you guys have been a part of helping me become who I am today and I wanted to bless you back with what you have meant to me.

This is what Emily Woo wrote…

One of my favorite memories of you May, ohh there are too many, I have magnum bars being devoured in your condo, watching Bridesmaids together on your couch, having fun on the see-saw, locking me in your flat because your secretly didn't want me to leave and living in Cape Town together! Your over-whelming generosity, kindness, love for God and orphans, you ability to just be yourself and be who you are are qualities that I admire about you, friend!

When I first moved in with you, you had gotten Buster and you were learning and doing awesome at driving stick. I remember we took that road-trip from Cape Town out to The Cape of Good Hope on Human Rights day. Here's a video =) Happy 30th Birthday Love + thank you for being YOU! (there's a card coming too via snail mail)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlrNyn-5GI0&feature=youtu.be

If you have been keeping up with the blog, you would remember that Emily Woo is my friend from Seattle who came for 5 months to Cape Town and I had the blessing to have her as my roommate for about 3 months of her stay. It was such a blessing in disguise as I had no clue how many tears, laughs, memories, and heart mending would happen during that short time. I had been in Cape Town for about 4 months when she came to live with me and I was doubting my decision BIG time on moving to Cape Town as work was so extremely difficult and I was wondering what the heck I had gotten myself into. Emily, you helped me daily to push through the difficult walls that Capetonians have; you taught me to pursue my dreams, ask for anything and everything that I want; restored my faith in roommates (incredible how different it is to live with 1 person instead of 7-24 people from IV days); showing me that worshipping and experiencing God can be done by just enjoying life and soaking in everything daily; and that we are never too old to enjoy all that a city has (I will leave it as that Em to not reveal some of our shenanigans.)

Emily and I will always share the bond we have with mint magnum ice cream bars; they are divine and will be one of our comfort foods if we are missing Cape Town. For those of you wondering, I did indeed lock Emily in my flat, LOL! Cape Town is all about locking doors as there is a lot of break-ins and theft unfortunately. So my flat has a regular door and a gate. I lock the gate every time that I leave the house and on this one day, I took the keys on the counter and headed to work without realizing I took Emily’s keys and that mine were tucked safely in my purse, OOPS! Oh my when she called me….I laughed so hard tears were flowing down my cheeks. THAT IS HOW MUCH I LOVE EMILY!...oh and don’t forget that I almost took you to the airport without your luggage…Guess I couldn’t decide if I wanted to keep you or get rid of you!

Thank you Emily for the kind words, I miss you dearly and my flat is empty without you, but I am so excited for what lies ahead for you!! I think you will be back in Cape Town before you know it. You are called to move mountains and with that, I foresee Table Mountain again for you. Sad to know that bowling in slip slops and having our faces painted like African warriors still wasn't enough to help us win!

Happy :)

I am not going to lie about this, I am so excited! I found out this past week that Benjamin Dunn will be in CAPE TOWN this week! It was 3 years ago that God planned and led me to a conference in Santa Cruz. He planned it months in advance without me knowing that my Grandmother would pass away the week before and this would be where God would minister to me, help me find my joy, expose me to things that I thought was even out of my box, and heal me from the wounds of family. This was one my most favorite moments from the conference in Santa Cruz!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4g98Nxdw8nQ&feature=related

Will let you know what happens...should be good!

Faithful!

Testimony time! Last weekend I had been praying about all that has been going on around me. With situations in church, family, people I love dearly, and work. I had told Zandi how while praying I felt things were shifting and that I thought it was going to be a crazy couple of weeks coming up (for the good!) and told her I was warning her now and if she was ready, haha. I had this verse in my head when I woke up on Monday morning

"And all things, whatsoever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive." Matt 21:22


I felt like God was telling me to ask, ask for what I want and need, ask for the nations, ask and you will receive. So Tuesday night with one week before my 30th birthday, I wrote down a wishlist for my birthday week. I can't disclose it all as I really do believe everything on my list is going to be answered, but there was one that I wrote down, shook my head, and thought it was a far reach idea that was related to work. I wrote the verse above next to this one item and less than 2 days later God has answered it. The one that I looked at and thought couldn't and wouldn't happen just got answered today! This answered request I do believe is going to make my time here in Cape Town extremely more enjoyable and perhaps with it, work won't be a drag or a chore, but something I could just maybe wake up in the morning and be excited about the 5 days I do have to work. Ahhhh I really am so excited and happy for this change and for this coming year which I think is really going to be the best year to come for me.   Thank you Jesus that you hear our prayers, our requests, our needs, and our wants. Thank you for being patient and faithful when I do have little faith. Jesus, my heart truly is overflowing with thankfulness and hope of what lies ahead.

Foreigner

Got to blog about this as I feel like a complete idiot. If you are reading this blog and you were involved in seeing my idiocy today, know that I will probably laugh it off tomorrow, but tonight, tonight I feel like a foreigner and an idiot who should have gone back to bed. As I mentioned in the previous post, this has been a long week and with that not much sleep. Today, I didn’t go to bed until 5am and was up by 9am to get ready for the day. Note to self, know how long your day will be so you can mentally prepare and leave before the day goes downhill. I went to a women’s conference with a friend today in which they were all black and then there was 1 yellow person...ME. I loved the conference and the worship (although there were moments were I felt they spoke English just for my sake and made me feel foreign rather than letting me embrace Africa,) but by 4pm I was already exhausted. I ended up going out with some friends for the evening and honestly didn’t know how long the night would be and hadn’t had any coffee all day, BIG OOPS! Ever had a time where everything out of your mouth was something that you would think afterwards in your mind…so why did I say that…why did I do that? That was me tonight, I know I am famous for my mayisms, but boy today was ridiculous. So one of my downfalls of being so independent and growing up where I did, I am confident and self-aware of my surroundings and know that if I ever got in a difficult situation of being mugged or something, I could defend myself…with this, I have never had a problem going most places by myself including all the lovely parties on DP…I have the Lords protection, discernment to know when places are dodgy, and the ability to kick someone’s butt if forced to. One thing that is different here in Cape Town is that the Christian men are raised to be gentlemen (which honestly is not normal in the US) where they walk women to their cars, wait until they leave to ensure they are okay, open doors, etc. Since being here, I think it is amazing but to be honest I look at most of these men who are skinny, timid, spacey, and I laugh inside as they walk me to my car because if something were to occur I probably would be the one laying the smack down, haha. I know that numbers are definitely safer don’t get me wrong but that is something I do need the Lord to work with me on… and I do look forward to when I meet my husband and have that sense of security that he can protect me, that will be sweet! SOooo back to tonight. Tonight, I got a mini statement on not walking the streets alone (although it was just me not realizing the gang had stopped at a store…it happens) and for some reason that bugged me…they just don’t know so, these men are just trying to be protective and I see that, but at that moment it was a “give me a break” moment. It seemed dumb comments kept coming out of my mouth today including calling kids “it”! Since when do I ever call kids that….I love kids!!! OY VEY! The night ended with some bands and the last band reminded me of ska music from when Christian bands like OC Supertones, Five Iron Frenzy, and The W’s would play in Reno, good memories for sure! I was actually enjoying it when the whole crew decided to leave…I was bummed and right now I am more bummed at the fact that today made me feel more like a freakin idiot and foreigner than I have felt in a while…probably should have just ended the night earlier and gotten more sleep. Tomorrow, tomorrow I hope to be either a Capetonian or a tourist, but please not a foreigner Lord.

The Cost FOR Revival

This past month God has had me revisiting my time in ministry during my college years and reflecting on it quite a bit. I have shared with a couple people here in Cape Town how I have felt that some things that have been going on in church and people that I have been meeting here remind me of vibes from college. In addition, as my purpose here in Cape Town is becoming clearer, it seems to be leading me full circle back to 10 years ago. Although it seems quite similar, I am for sure a way different person who is older, wiser, and stronger in the Lord. With that, I am able to pray differently and see things in a whole new perspective as I walk and pray through the path the Lord is leading. I know this is vague and please forgive me if this is confusing, but I haven’t found the words to express what God is doing in me right now in Cape Town. With that, lets walk down memory lane which ultimately leads into the heavy week of prayer I have been in this week. This month, the old ministry I was involved in released a book called Jesus Burgers: True Stories of Love, Redemption & Miracles in a College Town.

This book has testimonies over the last 10 years of lives that have been changed and transformed due to this ministry. In 2002 was the first time that I got involved and was one of the first group of college kids to move into the house which has been labeled the “Jesus Burger” house in Isla Vista, California. If you were to walk through the streets today, there probably isn’t a person who wouldn’t know where to find free hamburgers on a Friday/Saturday night at midnight to help settle their digestive systems from the evening of beer drinking or craving after a heavy dancing workout session in one of the dozens and dozens of housing hosting free parties. It truly was an amazing and crazy experience in the 7 years I lived in that area with 3 years being in the house, but has and will always have a huge chuck of my heart. Although I haven’t gotten my hands on this book yet (can thank that to me living in South Africa in which getting a book takes a little longer) I believe it is mostly about the lives that have been changed and with that doesn’t give the details or depth of all that had happened and/or had to be laid down for the glory that is occurring in Isla Vista now and all the testimonies and are will continue to pour out in the coming years, that probably will a Jesus Burger Book Part 2 or something. My time and stories in that ministry would probably fall in the Part 2 book. A lesson we learned when we first started can be explained from this quote.

“The community of the saints is not an "ideal" community consisting of perfect and sinless men and women, where there is no need of further repentance. No, it is a community which proves that it is worthy of the gospel of forgiveness by constantly and sincerely proclaiming God's forgiveness...Sanctification means driving out the world from the Church as well as separating the Church from the world. But the purpose of such discipline is not to establish a community of the perfect, but a community consisting of men who really live under the forgiving mercy of God.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

I am extremely excited to read it, and extremely happy to see and hear all that is happening in that town! God is so faithful and absolutely AMAZING! This week though, the same day as the launch of the book release, one of my old housemates that lived in the house for 2 years (I believe) went to be with the Lord in a rather tragic way. It is sad but no surprise that Satan would attack as Aslan (Jesus) is on the move in Isla Vista and so many glorious things lie ahead for this ministry. With the news of this, it has caused me to pray for many old housemates that I hadn’t really prayed for since we moved out of the house and think about my time there which leads to the title of this blog. When we first moved into this ministry house, not a single one of us knew what would lie ahead. We had no clue that our front yard would be where a church would form, loads of red cups would litter/decorate where normal people would want to plant a garden, or that burgers were going to be flipped, served, and become the platform of a love movement. Dozens prayed everyday to see revival in this town and to see lives transformed, but did anyone of us who lived in the house really understand the cost of joining this radical calling God was asking us to. If you lived in the house at all in the first 7 years I would say and the first 3 years due to my own experience, I would say the answer would have been “no.” I reflected this week on the people who come and left the house while I was there and thought about where they are now. The majority have continued to follow the Lord and the experience has strengthen their faith, but there are a few (which is still too many in my eyes!) who had/have walked away and the experience left deep scars in which only the Great Physican is able to heal. With any start up company/ministry, you learn as you go. The people who moved in the houses each year ended up being more solid and their foundation set upon the rock, but the first few years were years of amazing memories but perhaps people who may not have waged the cost of moving into a radical environment…and even perhaps somewhat the fault of older Christians who didn’t protect the flock who were new sheep…but as I said you learn and grow stronger but at what cost did it have. My housemate who is now with the Lord flipped and served burgers next to me. This person was part of the beginning of a movement and even though life may had been an uphill battle, that was a person who helped lay the foundation…and for me as intercessor in and for the house, I am left with wondering If I was just a little older, a little wiser; perhaps I would have known how to pray in the spirit to have assisted my friend in some of the life decisions that was made…There is no one to blame what so ever, but everything that starts is always at a cost…and this week I am on my knees again praying for the amazing people who I co-laboured with Christ for the revival that is happening in Isla Vista. For restoration, healing, and redemption for those who helped plow the field and may be struggling with life right now.

To my housemate and friend, I wish there was more I could have done to protect you as moved into the house which at the time had some gnarly spirtual warfare going on, wish I knew what I know now to walk with you through life challenges, and I am sorry that life was so harsh. I think of all the prayers that were lifted up to God over the years and I know they are not in vain, but I wish you wouldn’t have given up and more than anything I wish you knew that God wasn’t finished with you yet. I hope and trust that you have found the peace you were seeking, but here on earth we are mourning the loss of you, loss of a housemate, loss or a friend and brother in Christ.